Here’s the dream that woke me up at 3:10 this morning.

Obama’s inauguration was the next day, and I had to move out of my house. It’s not clear if I was the sitting president. I wasn’t moving out of the White House. I just had to move by noon the next day. It was understood. I hadn’t started packing until the night before.

The next morning, we went to the house where Obama was staying. He had sprayed artificial snow on his yard. We marveled, took some photos and left.

Then, I had to host a game show. It was for the competition! For that certain ABC station whose channel number is divisible only by itself and 1. It was a student quiz show, set in a dank classroom. Everyone treated me poorly. I was grumpy.

The show started without me. When they got to the first commercial break, I asked the — well, I guess she was the producer, but she also acted as the hostess, why they needed me if she was hosting.

“I guess we don’t.”

“Fine,” I said. In front of the audience of parents, I turned around and told her, “I think this is poor.”

I went outside and it was dark. I looked at my watch. 10:35 a.m., but the moon and stars were the only things in the sky. I remarked that it’s “Tenth Night,” which I understood to be the day when it’s dark. Beyond the tree line, I saw a fair-sized multistory office building lift off the ground and fly away. Then, another one took off. By this time, I’d fumbled around in my pocket and grabbed my cell phone. I got video of the third building flying away.

I hopped in my car and pulled out of the parking lot. As I pulled out, I noticed an old car following me. I panicked. As I turned out of the parking lot, I saw a white sign with big red letters:

WARNING
Beware of:
*Actors
*Aircraft Noises

I looked in the rear-view mirror. The old car was still there. Through its windshield, I saw two stocky men in their mid-50s. They looked angry. And I realized they were twins.

The driver pointed at me, then curled his finger slowly, telling me, “Come here.”

I woke up.

I know a perilous dream when I’m in it.